Signs of Conscience
by Crazy4pinK
Summary: What does Grissom has to say when Sara loses a chance at something she badly wants to have? Set somewhere in mid-season 7.


**Signs of Conscience**

"Wait, slow down! Do it again."

The ambiance at the townhouse's backyard was just refreshing: a little breeze causing the velvety meadow to sway sporadically; and the sight of the multi-colored blossoms along the fences. Gil Grissom sat with his legs outstretched in front of him and his back against the bark of a tree. His lap was occupied by Sara's head as she was laying her back flat across the grass. The faint sunlight penetrated through the small spaces between the twigs and the leaves, providing a soft painted glow on their faces.

"Honey, I'd prefer you sitting up so you can see my hands articulately." Grissom dropped his hands so he can gently pinch Sara's nose.

"I'm way too relaxed in this position," said Sara with a slight glare. "Besides, you were going too fast! Do you not want me to learn?"

"Sara, you're already pretty good at signing. You're fluent with the basics."

"Exactly my point!" Sara exclaimed, finally sitting up to face him. Her voice suddenly became serious. "You know, I've meaning to tell you this..."

Grissom watched her with a hint of worry as he waited.

"When you first introduced me to your mother – by surprised, may I remind you – I was glad to know a few phrases that you taught me but… I felt kind of awkward because we couldn't have decent conversation down to your presence as my translator."

Grissom slowly nodded. "And after that you suggested to have a lesson once a week and I obliged."

"That's correct but…" Sara swallowed a lump on her throat and Grissom knew she was close on the verge of her tears. "It was such a shame I never got to show her what you've taught me during our sessions."

Grissom's face fell and he reached out to sooth her hand. "Oh, Sara. My mother was very fond of you." He scooted closer to wrap his arm around her shoulder. "I suppose you don't have to worry about getting to know her and her getting to know you-

Sara squeezed his hand. "Yes, Gil. You've signed to her about me and you've talked me about her but… that's different. I missed the chance to actually tell – I mean, _sign_ to her about how a good cook she was; or how she did an excellent job of raising you; or how you got her eyes…" She paused and a heavy sigh escaped from her. "I was so thrilled to visit her again."

Grissom felt as if he was talking to the Sara Sidle back when she first started working at the lab. By just one look and one touch, Sara would feel a rare connection to particular victims (with the exception of his mother as a victim, of course). During their visit, they had spent the whole day with his mother. Lily Grissom had enthusiastically shown Sara all of Gil's childhood photos – whilst receiving embarrassed whines from the grown up man - and given her a full tour of the house, with each room a family story behind it. Grissom didn't leave Sara's side incase she needed him to sign for her.

His theory somewhat landed on Sara's mother. Maybe Sara had been looking for a mother figure ever since and that she finally found it from Lily. It could be the reason why Sara had grown attached to his mother in just one day.

The musing was certainly plausible.

"I can't explain it but when learn a new sign…" Sara stared at the ground, her eyes looking for answers. "… I mean… Oh God, I don't know Gil! I know what I want to say, but I can't put my finger on it!" She groaned and threw her head back in defeat.

Grissom's hand immediately found Sara's back, caressing it in a way he knew that always calmed her down. "You wanna know what I think?"

"What?" She replied whilst wiping her unshed tears.

"I'm no psychologist but do you perhaps… feel… her presence when you learn something new? Do you feel like… having the power to communicate with her?"

"Maybe. On some level." Sara looked at him, still confused. "By learning, I feel like I kinda owe it to her. I lost my chance and…" She stared at Grissom's face for a moment. The slightest grin formed upon her lips as she closed her eyes, dropping her head and shaking it. "I officially lost it, haven't I?" She stifled a giggle.

"You haven't." Grissom managed a half pursed smile. "But I can think of certain circumstances where you've _actually_ lost it," he added.

His comment earned a smack on the arm.

"I'm serious, Gilbert!"

Grissom cradled Sara's head in his palms and gently tucked it underneath his chin. Instantly, Sara's arms snaked around his waist as she cuddled closer.

Reassuringly, he said, "You miss her, Sara. I partly understand how you feel because sometimes… I do feel her presence. I know she would've loved to spend more time with you as much as you want with her, but Sara, there is absolutely no need for you to feel guilty about this."

"Then why do I feel like it?"

Grissom sighed, "The human mind has full of possibilities, my dear. I'm afraid I don't posses the answer to that."

He began to smooth Sara's hair as his thoughts seemingly occupied him for a while. He tried to wander way back about all of the people (that he knew of) in his mother's life and believed that it was only Sara who made this kind of special connection with her.

There was a long pause before Sara pulled away from his grip to speak again. "Do you think what I feel is irrational?"

Grissom paused to think. "I can't give you straight answer, but… would it make you feel any better if we go visit my mother today?"

Sara flinched at his offer. "Today? As in _to_-day?"

"Yeah, today, right now."

"All the way to California?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Only if you want to. I'm sure we can take a day off or two."

Sara searched his face for any signs of hoax. She gave up when all she could see was sincerity. "I appreciate it," she smiled and Grissom could see the sudden change of glisten in her eyes. "Shall I start packing now?"

He nodded. "I'll book the tickets."

Sara stood up and sighed contentedly. She gave Grissom a half smile before walking towards the back door. She stopped mid-way from her tracks to look at him who was just standing up. He caught her glance and asked, "Are you okay?"

She nodded then her hands were in motion signing: _Thank you for understanding._

Grissom smiled and signed back: _You're always welcome._

**END**

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**A/N:** Hope this one is a catch for everyone. A very short fic but it'll do for a while. And again, thanks for all the wonderful reviews on my previous stories! I have an idea for a new story, but it's been locked up for while since I'm still putting it together, so stay tune for that. :) Don't forget to review because in the world of Fanfiction, authors live for them! xD


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